Welcome to the only summer holiday guide you will ever need. Includes handy suggestions for day trips, picnic ideas and crafts to keep the whole family entertained.* *Suggestions may not be handy or keep the whole family entertained. Does not include picnic ideas. Some people may require further guides. Likely to cause dizziness and fainting. Week One […]
Recently I read an online article that was rather snippy about the amount of effort one mother had put into creating something spectacular for her children. The writer of the article seemed unnerved that any sane woman could be arsed to put so much time and effort into parenting. Which is ironic when you realise […]
Firstly I’m sorry for calling you a dick on the Internet. To be fair most of the people who commented on the post I wrote did back me up. So technically I should be sorry for outing you as a dick. Mummy will stop saying the word dick now. I’m sorry you have spent the first two […]
This week I did something I swore I would never do. I lied about my parenting skills to make myself look better. I decided quite some time ago not to give a shit about what other people think. Mainly because other people have no idea what the rest of my life is like so I ignore […]
3rd: Shower Cat. How to play: One player has a shower while the other player is the shower cat. A shower cat is a cat that lives in the shower, being the shower cat involves crawling around the bottom of the shower on all fours licking your paws and wagging an imaginary tale. The game […]
As a paper The Daily Mail is not much cop but as a guide to how modern women are just doing it all wrong it is infalliable. Generally we women are just not good enough – we’re either too fat or too thin, wearing the wrong clothes or falling in love with the wrong people. […]
Easter 2014 will forever be remembered as the nadir of my parenting career. Eclipsing the time we started serving our children water in shot glasses and encouraged them to slide glasses along the table top shouting ‘hit me’. It was funny for about 30 minutes before we realised we had basically encouraged a toddler and […]
It’s that time of year again when thoughts turn to summer holidays. This year we are doing Denmark with a 2 and 3 year old. Why Denmark? Well if there’s one thing I’ve learned about children it’s that they love a bit of classic mid century Scandinavian design. My son cannot get enough of the […]
A short post about someone I really liked but never met.
No. Under no circumstances should anyone ever take a toddler to a festival. Look what happened to Chris Martin – 10 years he had to put up with all that macrobiotic shit. Any more questions? OK then. As you were. But hang on I’m still thinking of taking a toddler to a festival…. OK let me […]
