An apology to my son on his birthday.

Firstly I’m sorry for calling you a dick on the Internet.

To be fair most of the people who commented on the post I wrote did back me up. So technically I should be sorry for outing you as a dick.

Mummy will stop saying the word dick now.

I’m sorry you have spent the first two years of your life being a plus one. I promise from now on we will take your views into consideration when we are planning trips out. Although it’s difficult to know where exactly Dinosaur! Seahorse! No! is.

I’m really sorry about the chicken costume we tried to make you wear for the carnival.

You hated it from the moment I opened the packaging. We should have never tried to get you to put it on.

I understand that now and I am a better person for it.

The next time someone asks me: What’s the one thing you would tell a mum-to-be? I shall reply: ‘Never try to dress a 2 year old in a chicken costume.’

I’m sorry everyone thinks you’re a girl.

I mean everyone.

Even your sister.

I should probably get your hair cut short and stop dressing you in your sister’s hand me downs but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And you are very good at walking in heels.

Basically I’d like to apologise for anything that you’ve experienced in your life that has been less than perfect because since I had you my life has been completely perfect.

Even though you are a dick.



2 thoughts on “An apology to my son on his birthday.

  1. Your son’s a dick, my son’s a moron. I call him it to his 5 and a half month old face and he just grins….like moron, and I wouldn’t have him any other way. If you can’t mildly insult your own children for comedic value what is the point in having them?

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