But Mummy why do I have to go to school? Well sweetie every time Mummy spends more than 3 minutes attempting to teach you anything we both need several weeks of therapy. Also in order to get you to do anything even remotely educational I have to bribe you with Haribo and biscuits, so I […]
I don’t want to spend my life stood behind my children pushing them in front of other kids, I want them, and children in schools across the country, to have the same opportunities whatever their home lives are like. I think the conclusion I would have drawn from a report showing that kids in the North are falling behind would be that there should be more investment in schools in the North, or, hey here’s a thought! How about the government stops pissing about claiming to create a ‘Northern Powerhouse’ and just puts in a decent fucking train across the Pennines – we’ll sort out the rest, we’re quite a resourceful bunch up here.
Right I haven’t blogged in ages because, well y’know life. And work. And just stuff. Why is there so much stuff? We moved out of the house and decamped to my mums after the electrician described the most expensive thing we have ever bought as ‘a death trap’ funnily enough this was not a phrase used […]
My youngest started school last week and I was reminded of how quickly time flies,standing at the school gates the Abba song ‘Slipping through my fingers’ running through my head as tears rolled down my face. Three days later I was crying again but this time because I had discovered he was only doing half […]
About to send your baby off to school for the first time? Worried about what to expect? Forget Ofsted reports and class sizes, this is the real lowdown on what happens in your child’s first year at school. For starters don’t expect your child to be able to say the name of their class, two […]
Dear The Vikings,
I am writing to thank you for your continued support in the raising of my son, aged three, and your sterling work in getting him out of nappies and into pants ‘like what Vikings (and Pirates) wear’. Please pass on my kind regards to Sigurd Snake In the Eye and Ragnar Hairy Breeches, sorry for Grandad renaming your great King Ragnar Hairy Arse which is probably very disrespectful, also not the sort of thing you want a 3 year old shouting in the middle of Marks & Spencer whilst brandishing a baguette.
Hooray! After just 100 years of being sexist twits Ladybird books are to stop gender branding their books – no more books ‘for boys’ and books ‘for girls’ just books for reading. Part of me thinks this is a brilliant step in the right direction and the other part of me is absolutely fucking fuming. […]
Bonjour mes amis! Ca va? Bugger I can’t get the funny sign thing* under the C so now it looks like I’m offering you a glass of Cava, which I’m not. I was going to write this post in French but to be honest although I have a degree in it, my written French is pretty […]