A letter to my beautiful daughter (or as Jo Swinson would prefer Dear Fugly)

You are without doubt the most frustratingly brilliant person I have ever met. Your beautiful brother is totally amazing too but we’ve seen it all before and are therefore less impressed. (Am I allowed to call my son beautiful as he’s a boy?) I wanted to write you a letter to capture where you are […]

How to name your baby.

Naming a baby is the fun part of having children. Personally I think the mother has final say in the decision because no one should argue with a woman who’s just given birth – even if she is off her face on gas and air and wants to call the baby Biscuitfingers. (I would LOVE […]

How To Survive Playgroup.

There will be one child sitting quietly doing puzzles.

This will not be your child.

I had hoped this role was allocated on some sort of rota and that one week it would be my daughter quietly amusing herself whilst others looked on in awe. I seem to have been left off the rota.

(If I had a child who sat quietly and entertained themselves I would not need playgroup I would be sitting at home watching This Morning, painting my toenails and writing a blog about what a piece of piss small children are to look after. )