Tickets are now on sale for my new play How To Have A Baby And Not Lose Your Shit. Don’t worry I’m not in it. I’ve just written the words – someone brilliant who can actually do acting will be performing it. And someone even more brilliant is directing it the wonderful Lucy Speed. Actress […]
I’m baaack! This is like one of those catch up documentaries, 10 years after the band split, when everyone’s solo careers have tanked and the fit one has had too much Botox and they’ve all run out of money. I last updated this blog when my eldest started school – seemed like a good place […]
Namaste bitches, I read a Reddit thread about what men find boring about women, which made me think about all the boring things men do and naturally I decided to write them all down and publish them on the Internet. What’s the worst that could happen? Here are the things I find boring about men: Googling fucking everything. Snore off. We’re having […]
One of the best things about starting a family is the amount of unwarranted advice people give you. Seriously, it’s worth getting pregnant just so you can experience the joy of complete strangers telling you what you’re doing wrong with your life. Usually everything.
Add to that the terrifying newspaper coverage of new things parents need to worry about and bringing a baby into the world can become very stressful. The big secret behind all the horror stories is this: Most parents are doing a pretty good job of raising their children.
But when I became a mum I realised that no one ever tells you this, or maybe they did but I was too stressed and tired to notice. Telling mums they’re doing fine doesn’t sell antibacterial nappy sacks or hands-free pumping bustiers or books about how to have a baby and not lose your shit.
The honest truth is that as a parent you will lose your shit, and when that happens you can either laugh or cry. I’ve done both and that’s what I’ve written about, I’ve found there are very few parenting problems that can’t be improved by a lovely cup of tea, a nice sit down and a bit of a laugh.
Because you really are doing a brilliant job.
This year decided to start doing stuff I wouldn’t normally do (don’t worry not the ironing) because, well why the hell not? So I signed up to do a 100 mile bike ride and some public speaking. Obviously it’s easy to write glib phrases and be all super confident about trying new things like I’m […]
Sorry to keep going on about tits but they do seem to be getting everywhere these days, my friend Carla has even had hers featured in The Daily Mail. I am at a loss as to what makes people want to comment on newspaper articles online but they can’t all be sat at home in […]
How often do you say to yourself ‘I literally do not have time for this shit’? Maybe it’s because I’m old, or a busy mum, or a bit arsey, whatever the reason the list of things I cannot be arsed with is growing rapidly. You’re probably on it yourself – sorry about that have a lovely […]
Since starting my blog I have realised that there are some people out there who do not like it when mums make jokes about parenting. But recently wrote a short piece for The Telegraph and discovered there are lots of other things people don’t like mums doing too, as the comments on my article show. ryeatley […]
An everyday scene of domestic life: Eeh Bah Mum is upstairs putting away washing in the bedroom WHERE THERE IS NO FUCKING FRIDGE. Mr Eeh Bah is downstairs, in the kitchen stood right next to a large cabinet that keeps food chilled, let’s call it the fridge aka THE PLACE WHERE CHEESE LIVES. Him (shouts upstairs because his eyes are too […]