Don’t be like Bill, be like you.

Normally I spend  a lot more time thinking about what I want to write on my blog but today I’m just spitting this thought out.

That Bill is an annoying, smug twat isn’t he?

OK so Bill doesn’t make a dick of himself on social media, he doesn’t post embarrassing Facebook updates when someone steals his parking space. Bill doesn’t drunk tweet his exes. Bill doesn’t post Instaquotes about the meaning of life when someone he loves loses their battle with cancer.

There’s a reason for this.

Bill doesn’t get drunk, he doesn’t have anyone he loves. Bill is a stickman. A drawing.

He’ll never fill his Instagram feed with shots of his newborn baby because his heart is so full of love he just can’t help it. He’ll never be so sad that he just wants to post something beautiful to Facebook, like a kitten in a silly hat.

I feel sorry for Bill. Bill has been sitting at his computer for ages now being clever and it looks boring as shit.

So don’t be like Bill, be like you. *


*unless you’re a racist, homophobic bellend. Then probs just shut up.



2 thoughts on “Don’t be like Bill, be like you.

  1. Yes, yes – and love your ‘Bill drawing’ I only met Bill last week for the first time, then suddenly he was everywhere. I liked the one about snow – ‘Bill knows his friends have windows so don’t need to see his pictures of snow on FB…’ because I do get irrationally irritated by pictures of people’s cars with a dusting of snow on, BUT this is my issue and I realise I should perhaps address my anger issues first and foremost. But ultimately, we all love to hate Facebook a bit don’t we? And without people making a tit of themselves, what else is there to to live for / dine out on / feel a bit smug about? So I agree – bugger off, Bill!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *