Just like every other parenting challenge explaining where babies come from is nothing like you expect it to be. Not that I spent a lot of my time pre children fantasizing about explaining the birds and the bees to the fruit of my loins, but I did quite bit of research into the general subject. Moving […]
If you are expecting advice on how to deal with a stroppy toddler then Google again. This is not the blog you are looking for. Move along. I have a serious parenting issue and I’m asking for help. Dramatic music kicks in: Sometimes my 2 year old son refuses to eat toast on the blue plate […]
‘Should I start a blog?’ you ask. Not me I already have one. You’re reading it. I’m using it to talk to you. Yes you. I know you’ve been thinking about it but there are sooo many reasons not to start. Hold my hand and let me guide you gently through them. It might be shit. […]
Usually people write to their 16 year olds selves but honestly I don’t think I have anything to say to my 16 year old self that I would like. My 16 year old self would think I was boring, old and uncool. I don’t mind she’s a dick who spends the next 5 years only being able to […]
Do you want to write a brilliant blog? Why not read a really dull how-to guide written by someone you’ve never heard of on the Internet? That should help. Within minutes you could be ‘driving engagement through unique content’. Or something. Honestly I have no fucking idea what that means but it sounds important. I drive […]
A while ago I wrote about the subtext behind the conversations I have with Eeh Bah Daughter and Mr Eeh Bah. I feel I should come clean. Most of the things I say are total bollocks too. Here are a few examples of things I say on a daily basis, all of which mean totally […]
(Unsurprisingly there are no pictures of me giving birth so instead I chose a pretty flower for you to look at) ‘Is it supposed to hurt this much?’ That was when I knew we were fucked. I was probably 3 or 4cms dilated, at home, in the early stages of labour and my partner, the man […]
I have a confession. My Instagram feed is total bullshit. I realised this when I looked at my profile and thought ‘Ooh that looks nice!’ Not that my life is not nice, it’s lovely. I have a gorgeously grumpy fella and two beautifully annoying children. We live in a nice house full of second hand stuff from charity shops […]
I get it you’re just not that that into kids. Thing is your friends have acquired some and now you’re forced to spend time with them. You’ve hung out together when they were babies and that wasn’t too bad but now they’re walking and talking and doing, er, whatever it is they do. When you don’t have […]
While Heston Blumenthal fannys about trying to make a bacon flavoured stegosaurus out of yogurt and breadsticks the rest of us have more basic food based challenges. Like feeding toddlers – or even harder – getting my Dad to eat a vegetarian dish without him making a joke about it lacking a bit of sausage. ( […]
