While Heston Blumenthal fannys about trying to make a bacon flavoured stegosaurus out of yogurt and breadsticks the rest of us have more basic food based challenges.

Like feeding toddlers – or even harder – getting my Dad to eat a vegetarian dish without him making a joke about it lacking a bit of sausage. ( I’d take the bacon dinosaur over either of these anyday)

I was vegetarian for 19 years and this is one of the few dishes my Dad would happily eat.

So if you’re looking for a tasty vegetarian dish that will stop a gruff 65 year old Yorkshireman from making crap jokes this is the pie for you.

 

You will need:

2/3 biggish sweet potatoes – Is that a kilo? a pound? – bugger I’m shit at weights and measures.

Knob of butter – I googled ‘How big is a knob?’ and was actually sadly disappointed with the results.

2/3 spring onions – If you’ve got them, if not, no biggie.

Quorn Mince – a packet

1 tin tomatoes

Splash olive oil

2 cloves of garlic – I forgot them, no one died/ complained/cared less.

2 carrots

2 sticks of celery

2 medium onions

1 yellow pepper – basically you could chuck in whatever’s in that drawer in the fridge. You know the one where vegetables go to die.

1 teaspoon English mustard

1 tablespoon Marmite

2 tablespoons Kecap Manis – fancy ingredient alert*

 

Kecap Manis is my secret ingredient. It’s a Malaysian sweet soy sauce and I buy it at the Chinese supermarket. It adds a nice dark caramel colour and it isn’t too salty.

If you think Kecap Manis is a weird ingredient I once read a recipe that used ‘leftover wine’ I have searched high and low for this but I’m buggered if I can find it in the shops near me.

What to do:

Chop up the veg and garlic and fry until soft – about the length of 2 episodes of Peppa Pig is fine.

While the veg is sweating (really? surely there’s a more pretty culinary term for this) peel and chop your sweet potatoes.

Add the sweet potatoes to water and cook til soft  – about 12 minutes which is 3 Peppa Pigs in our house.

Before the veg burns and you start swearing add your Quorn mince.

Chuck in the tomatoes, mustard, Marmite and Kecap Manis.

Add a bit of water if it needs it.

Leave for another 2 Peppa Pigs until it looks like the filling of a pie.

Mash your sweet potato topping with butter then add chopped spring onions.

Slap it in a pie dish and cook in the oven for 35 minutes until golden brown.

My pie managed about 20 minutes before I gave into the cries of ‘Is it ready yet?’ hence the complete lack of crispy top in the picture.

Let me know if you have a go at making any of my recipes or a bacon flavoured yogurt stegosaurus.