Do you wanna throw a Frozen themed party?
It doesn’t have to be a very good Frozen themed party.
Here’s my guide….
My daughter has seen an amazing Frozen cake on Facebook.
Awesome. Except the lady who made it lives in California.
I have looked into shipping and is not going to work. I’ve already got a three month lead up drying fish in the airing cupboard to make the lutefisk.
But never mind here is my guide to planning the best Frozen party ever!
All together now.
Na Na Na Hey Ah Na
Ah Ye Ya Oh Wah Na
Na Hey Yah Hey Yah
Beware the frozen heart….
An icy endurance test to establish who gets to ‘be’ Elsa.
Remove entire contents from freezer and leave the door open.
Issue each party goer with an empty ice cream tub (in keeping with the theme) and a tea towel (not so in keeping with the theme).
The aim is to channel the energy of 12 pre school children all desperate not to ‘be’ Sven the Reindeer and melt the ice in the freezer.
The one who melts the most ice is crowned the queen.
Remember there can be only one winner – and it’s probably going to be the lady with the defrosted freezer.
Do you wanna build a Snowman?
In this game the adults play Elsa while the children take the role of the annoying sister who can’t pronounce her own name properly.
Retire to the kitchen to practice your ice powers (this is best done whilst drinking coffee and eating posh biscuits – florentines work well) meanwhile the children hammer on the door trying to get your attention.
The game ends when all the biscuits are consumed or one of the children is injured, whichever comes first.
Who am I kidding the biscuits never get finished before a child gets hurt.
Top Tip: Try to avoid any discussions about the true meaning of the phrase ‘lost at sea’.
Legend of the Trolls
Gather round and listen to the cautionary tale of how the advent of the Internet transformed trolls from being friendly love experts who could disguise themselves as rocks into horrible mean creatures who write nasty things about people they don’t know on Twitter.
The Frozen Ball
Not to be confused with that time Daddy jumped in the snow with no pants on.
This ball involves dancing to Ellie Goulding followed by a slide presentation ’10 Reasons why you can’t marry someone you’ve just met’ set to the music of Britney Spears.
Afterwards there will be a short break for coffee before a Q&A session.
No you can’t be Elsa.
Building the Ice Palace
In the film Elsa uses her ice powers to create a beautiful, safe place to live. All whilst wafting her arms about and singing that song.
In this fun party game we do much the same but instead of building a fantasy ice palace – which let’s face it isn’t great for visitors – why not tidy up the children’s bedrooms instead?
The winner is the first person to clear away the carpet of toys and clothes and stamp their feet dramatically on the actual floor.
Cold never bothered me anyway.
But the mess did.
Carrots, frozen peas & lutefisk for the children.
Frozen margaritas and Magnum chocolate infinity for the adults.
Followed by lots of ill advised sugary blue food – remember to Instagram the look of disappointment when the birthday girl realises your interpretation of a ‘Frozen Cake’ is an arctic roll on a bed of ice cubes with a carrot stuck in it.
Top Tip: Make sure parents of all party attendees have signed a waiver before feeding them any home made food.
Communal post sugar meltdown
Essentially this is the bit in the film where Prince Hans tells wotserface he can’t see a future with a woman who is unable to pronounce a name with only 2 letters in it properly.
Cling to the fact that the darkest hour comes before the dawn.
Very soon all this will be over and someone is going home with a brand new sleigh. (Shit I forgot to buy a sleigh)
An act of true love
Aka 30 minutes spent trying to get a group of 4 year olds to apologise to each other for hitting/ not sharing/ crying /just being 4.
The real act of true love is when they fall asleep for 2 hours in the afternoon leaving you to watch rubbish telly on catch up.
Party bags and fuck off
There you have it.
The perfect Frozen themed party.
If by perfect you mean that no one is really happy but everyone is equally upset by proceedings.
Don’t forget my handy day by day guide to the summer holidays is also available just click here and watch the holidays whizz by.
Oh and if you want to see pictures of pies and children being disappointed by life follow me on Instagram @eehbahmum.