How I got published

Last year I received a lovely email from a guy who worked in publishing who had read my blog and wondered if I had ever thought about writing a book. That’s like asking if I’ve ever thought about Kit Harington popping round to do the ironing naked.

Winter is coming!

Of course I’ve thought about writing a book!  But thinking about writing a book doesn’t actually get a book written, neither does talking about writing a book, reading about writing a book or even going on writing courses which are all about writing a book. Bummer.

So I told him I was far too busy thinking, reading and talking about writing a book to actually write one, perhaps he could email me again sometime later?

Have I ever mentioned I am a massive idiot? People, when someone emails you out of the blue offering to help you with the one thing in life you’ve always really, really wanted don’t tell them you’re too busy. Unless what you’ve always really, really wanted was a bigger penis, you should definitely ignore those emails.

A few months later publishing guy emailed back and suggested meeting up for lunch, obviously my first thoughts were that he was pretending to be a publisher so he could kidnap me and harvest my hair to knit into a scarf. But my second thought was, hmm lunch. Also I have really short hair.

I printed out my idea for a book and went to meet him. Amazingly he didn’t want to kidnap me at all, and he liked my idea for a book. So I wrote it. And he published it. Now I have a book coming out.

And it’s terrifying.

At Mumsnet’s Blogfest conference author Val McDermid talked about ignoring people who say ‘know your place’, people who want to burst your creative bubble, people who would stop you from achieving the things you want to do.

But what if the person saying these things is you?

Well Val McDermid is a literary legend and all round fabulous, and as I have already told you, I am a massive idiot so the choice was simple, listen to Val! So I’m ignoring the part of me that finds self promotion excruciatingly embarrassing and I’m going to tell you to buy my book.


Because it’s good. There I said it.

It’s a book that I would have liked to read when I first had a baby. A parenting book that doesn’t tell you what to do, a parenting book that’s funny, a parenting book that talks about how starting a family very often involves losing a baby.

Essentially I’ve written a book about having babies which contains no useful information about having babies, that aims to be funny but also has a whole chapter about miscarriage.

I know, sounds amazing!

You can buy it from Amazon or direct from the publisher who may or may not be knitting scarves out of human hair, I didn’t like to ask.


9 thoughts on “How I got published

  1. Awesome (as Lego would say).. where was this book when I needed it ! I expect a follow up. “I lost my shit and the kids found it and smeared it over themselves & I still had to clean it up’ Good work and hope it sells gazillions.

  2. Can not wait for my copy to arrive. You have achieved the thing that most of us dream of, but never stand a chance of actually doing. Hats off to you. X

  3. this means I know someone famous!! Next time I see you – I’m gonna flash you.

    (P.s. Huge congrats I cannot wait to read it when I get back from my mini break away pretending my children don’t exist xxx)

  4. Love this post lady and yes it’s BRILLIANT!! PS I’ve not read it yet but the covers looks brilliant and the back cover reads brilliantly so therefore it must be brilliant. PPS Knit your hair? You’re mad as a box of frogs.

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  6. Fantastic – well done! I’ve just ordered it as a Christmas present to myself. I know I’ll be entertained and I’m hoping it will give me the kick up the backside I need to get re-started on my own book … 🙂

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