Are you doing family holidays all wrong?

It’s Christmas and the perfect time to be thinking about holidays. It’s not like there’s anything else I do should be getting on with right?

Mark Warner are looking for bloggers to be their holiday ambassadors.

I think I would be brilliant at this – but then in my mind I’m brilliant at most things. It’s only when I actually do stuff I realise I’m totally not brilliant at all.

As well as the obvious attraction of a free holiday I also like the idea of being an ambassador and have already started supergluing Ferrero Rocher together in a big Nutella flavoured mountain.

Mark Warner have asked bloggers to write about their dream family holiday…but honestly? I have absolutely no idea what that is.

We had an amazing time skiing last year. But *whispers* we didn’t take the children.

The best holiday I’ve ever been on lasted 3 months and included a fight with a Vietnamese waiter, a jungle trek with THE most irritating couple I have ever met and several long hours spent on a Cambodian karaoke bus that stank of fish sauce.

The whole experience was amazing.

But my dream family holiday.

It’s the ‘f’ word again.

I love my children but trekking through the jungle with them? No thanks.

Times have changed.

Putting my feet up on holiday pre children

Putting my feet up on holiday pre children














To date our family holidays have all followed the same format:

Step 1:

Get excited reading guide books.

Step 2:

Book boutique hotels/ designer home stays.

Step 3:

Plan itinerary including museums, art galleries and cool new places to eat.

Step 4:

Realise 30 minutes into the journey we have 2 small children who don’t give a hoot about museums, galleries or pop up restaurants.

Step 5:

Spend entire holiday secretly wishing we’d done something a bit easier.

Step 6:

Return home exhausted and in need of a holiday.


One of the highlights of any family holiday


So far we’ve driven to Tuscany and back with one baby, fled Hurricane Sandy with a 2yo and a 6 month old and this summer we spent 2 weeks exploring Denmark because I liked the light fittings on Borgen. (How else do you choose a holiday destination?)

I’m starting to think maybe it’s time we let someone else plan our holidays.

I’ve drawn up a list of things my dream family holiday should ideally include:

1. Stuff to keep us all busy.

2. Time for relaxation.

3. At least one part of me should return a different colour (preferably brown).

4. No trips to hospital or prison.

I’m not demanding 1000 thread count sheets and goose down pillows.

I just want to go away on our hollibobs and come home feeling like we’ve had a holiday.


As a family.

That’s not too much to ask is it?

Putting our feet up on

holiday with children.













5 thoughts on “Are you doing family holidays all wrong?

  1. Hilarious and so true. Love the sleeping pram pic. ‘Family holidays’ is actually an oxymoron. As is ‘Holiday Programme’ . Sick scam.s that involve no feet up time. At all. Imaginary holidays can be untidy but less stressful. Like an Arabian sofa tent safari in the living room. Happy holidays!

  2. I remember the Cambodian karaoke bus, though it was in Thailand by the time i got on. You and your family DESERVE a fab family holiday for rest, relaxation and rite-up. Mark Warner would be crazy not to send you on one xx Do your nearest and dearest always jump into swimming pools fully clothed though?

  3. We are in Australia and found our perfect holiday destination 2 years ago: a resort with a water park, kids club and entertainment for the kids on regularly throughout the day, and adult only sections! We have been back 3 times! It is somewhere i would never EVER have even thought about, in a destination I wouldn’t have dreamt of going pre-children, but sometimes you have to suck it up and accept that trekking around Thailand is never going to work when you have two kids under 5.

  4. You are going to have to give in …
    and go to a caravan park.
    Join the ranks of parents, furtively buying The Sun for the £9.50 tokens and …
    3 or 4 nights by a Cornish beach etc are yours.
    Kids love it, pool, beach, entertainment.
    To keep sane – only book next to a good beach and choose your on sight entertainment wisely, an hour of it (even with a strong drink in hand) is the limit most adults can tolerate.

  5. Mark Warner- please make Eeh bah mum a holiday ambassador (if you are actually still running this competition) because she’s really funny. And even if her holiday is a croc of shit, it will be amusing to read about and I will probably still want to buy a holiday off you anyway. Thanks.

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