In which I ask Daily Mail readers what to make of Kate Winslet’s baby news (brace yourselves).

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So I was reading The Daily Mail online ( I know: No good sentence ever started with these words but stick with me).

I was reading The Daily Mail for research purposes when a story broke that was so huge I had to drop everything and write this post.

Shit the bed people Kate Winslet is pregnant!

Unable to make up my mind what I should think about a woman I have never met having a baby with her husband I turned to the comments at the bottom of the article – 476 at the time of writing – to find out what readers of The Daily Mail think about it.

OK so they’re not just readers of The Daily Mail, they are readers of The Daily Mail who have been so moved by a Daily Mail article they felt compelled to comment.

Most comments were negative although to be fair there were a few people sticking up for Kate, an effort I can only liken to watching a small boy trying to piss out a forest fire.

A letter to my beautiful daughter (or as Jo Swinson would prefer Dear Fugly)

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You are without doubt the most frustratingly brilliant person I have ever met. Your beautiful brother is totally amazing too but we’ve seen it all before and are therefore less impressed. (Am I allowed to call my son beautiful as he’s a boy?) I wanted to write you a letter to capture where you are […]

How to name your baby.

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Naming a baby is the fun part of having children. Personally I think the mother has final say in the decision because no one should argue with a woman who’s just given birth – even if she is off her face on gas and air and wants to call the baby Biscuitfingers. (I would LOVE […]

How To Survive Playgroup.

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There will be one child sitting quietly doing puzzles.

This will not be your child.

I had hoped this role was allocated on some sort of rota and that one week it would be my daughter quietly amusing herself whilst others looked on in awe. I seem to have been left off the rota.

(If I had a child who sat quietly and entertained themselves I would not need playgroup I would be sitting at home watching This Morning, painting my toenails and writing a blog about what a piece of piss small children are to look after. )