How I got published

Last year I received a lovely email from a guy who worked in publishing who had read my blog and wondered if I had ever thought about writing a book. That’s like asking if I’ve ever thought about Kit Harington popping round to do the ironing naked. Winter is coming! Of course I’ve thought about […]

Wallpaper madness

Let’s just decorate the bedrooms, we said. Let’s just make it nice for the kids, we said. Let’s leave all the big stuff til next year, we said. At least I think that’s how the conversation went, I certainly don’t remember getting completely shitfaced and shouting ‘Bollocks! Let’s just rip all the floors up and […]

Raised by Vikings

Dear The Vikings,

I am writing to thank you for your continued support in the raising of my son, aged three, and your sterling work in getting him out of nappies and into pants ‘like what Vikings (and Pirates) wear’. Please pass on my kind regards to Sigurd Snake In the Eye and Ragnar Hairy Breeches, sorry for Grandad renaming your great King Ragnar Hairy Arse which is probably very disrespectful, also not the sort of thing you want a 3 year old shouting in the middle of Marks & Spencer whilst brandishing a baguette.

We bought a house!

It’s been quiet on the blog recently because I’ve finally run out of things to say. Mwahahaha. As if. Nah I had a break from writing over the summer so I could concentrate on shouting ‘Get back here now!’ at the kidlets. After seven weeks I can now project exactly the right level of anger […]