Tickets are now on sale for my new play How To Have A Baby And Not Lose Your Shit. Don’t worry I’m not in it. I’ve just written the words – someone brilliant who can actually do acting will be performing it. And someone even more brilliant is directing it the wonderful Lucy Speed. Actress […]
(Unsurprisingly there are no pictures of me giving birth so instead I chose a pretty flower for you to look at) ‘Is it supposed to hurt this much?’ That was when I knew we were fucked. I was probably 3 or 4cms dilated, at home, in the early stages of labour and my partner, the man […]
Pelvic floor muscles are one of those things you only really talk about once you fall pregnant. No sooner do you realise you have them they are ruined.
It’s like discovering you have a beautiful chocolate cake in your cupboard you didn’t know about and then immediately dropping it on the floor. Into shit.*
People told me to make the most of life before I had children.
Go out to dinner! They said.
Enjoy time alone with your partner! I was told.
If I could turn back time I would have sacked off the romantic dinners and spent my free hours enjoying piss free star jumps instead.
So I was reading The Daily Mail online ( I know: No good sentence ever started with these words but stick with me).
I was reading The Daily Mail for research purposes when a story broke that was so huge I had to drop everything and write this post.
Shit the bed people Kate Winslet is pregnant!
Unable to make up my mind what I should think about a woman I have never met having a baby with her husband I turned to the comments at the bottom of the article – 476 at the time of writing – to find out what readers of The Daily Mail think about it.
OK so they’re not just readers of The Daily Mail, they are readers of The Daily Mail who have been so moved by a Daily Mail article they felt compelled to comment.
Most comments were negative although to be fair there were a few people sticking up for Kate, an effort I can only liken to watching a small boy trying to piss out a forest fire.
When I was pregnant I told my fella that the baby made me trump. Maybe it did. All I know is I was too damn tired to get up and go parp politely elsewhere. This got me thinking about the old wives tales and untruths surrounding women and pregnancy and how they are generally negative […]