Day two of the school holidays Mr Eeh Bah phones home to check we are all still alive. Him: Hi Are you OK? You said in your email you were…. cleaning. Me: Yes darling I’m fine. I was cleaning. Him: Are you drunk already? It’s only 2pm. Me: Darling I’m not drunk I’m sat outside […]
A while ago I started writing a beginner’s guide to blogging, even though I actually have no idea what I’m talking about, but hey! This is the Internet as long as you can read an article in less than 5 minutes and still look like you might be working- no one cares! So today I’ve […]
I have a confession. Regular readers of this blog will know that I have never painted myself as the best mother. I’m not sure trying to be the best mum is a great use of any woman’s energy. Small children are hard work and trying to be ‘the best’ at looking after them is a waste of time […]
As a new mum I found the choice of things to do with my baby confusingly scary. Who knew that babies wanted to learn French? I mean apart from French babies – obvs in France it’s a basic requirement along with being chic, not getting fat and writing books telling everyone else how much better French […]
No I’m not putting the small children on the tree. But then writing ‘with the help of small children’ didn’t feel right either. So here is ‘How to decorate a tree while two small children fight over a felt robin and attempt to strangle each other with tinsel’. Step 1 Check into social media and discover that […]
I bloody love a quiz. This one’s abut poo. Answer these questions to determine if it’s time to start potty training: 1. Are you happy to have a toddler shit all over your home for the next 2 weeks? 2. Have you bought so many nappies you could buy a house with the Boots Advantage points you’ve […]
Blogfest last year was my first ever big blogging event. As I descended the escalator into the hall full of people I half recognised from Twitter I thought: Shit! I’ve made a terrible mistake. Fast forward 12 months and there I was gliding down the escalator into a hall full of people I actually knew and this […]
I was going to make this a top 5 list but I could only think of 4. That’s what a hopeless romantic I am. I’d like to point out that I am not getting divorced but if I ever do get married and then go on to get divorced it will probably be for one of […]
Shit they should tell you about Halloween… but no one does because it would scare the living crap out of you. 1. The early start On the 31st October you will be woken up at 6.30am by a small child in full witches garb shaking you and demanding to be taken trick or treating. Don’t worry […]
