Once you have children you will find yourself doing lots of things that you said you would never do. If you do not have children or plan on having children please feel free to enjoy this list with a smug aloofness (imagine you’re a member of the Bullingdon Club) and when people tell you that […]
You are without doubt the most frustratingly brilliant person I have ever met. Your beautiful brother is totally amazing too but we’ve seen it all before and are therefore less impressed. (Am I allowed to call my son beautiful as he’s a boy?) I wanted to write you a letter to capture where you are […]
Naming a baby is the fun part of having children. Personally I think the mother has final say in the decision because no one should argue with a woman who’s just given birth – even if she is off her face on gas and air and wants to call the baby Biscuitfingers. (I would LOVE […]
Lots has been written about how having a child will change your life, boundless love, sleepless nights yadda yadda yadda. But there is one unexpected change a child will bring: You will start seeing dog poo. Everywhere. Before I had children I would happily skip down shit filled streets knee deep in greasy chip wrappers […]
When we were Londoners we lived 30 minutes away from lions and tigers and bears and Oh My! Do we miss London Zoo. Pregnant and struggling to entertain a lively toddler the zoo was my go-to day out, the penguins were far better company for Eeh Bah daughter than a fat grumpy mum could ever […]
Before buying a gift for a small child ask yourself this simple question: Would I like to be smashed in the face by this at 5.30 in the morning? No? Then put the stupid toy down and buy the parents a lovely bottle of wine instead. Here is a list of the worst toys in the Eeh […]
Dear The Tooth Fairy, Look love we both know what’s going on here. I know you don’t exist, you know you don’t exist yet somehow everyone’s writing you flippin’ letters. So here goes. There are a few things we need to clear up. Firstly and most importantly: WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD’S GREEN EARTH […]
The spirit of Margaret Thatcher is alive and well in Eeh Bah Daughter. She is currently stomping round my kitchen waving her handbag, snatching her brother’s milk and refusing to back down until her wildly unpopular demands are met. I fully expect her to have deregulated snack time and closed down the naughty step by […]
Before I start I should make it clear I like CBeebies. It is the closest thing to live in childcare I have. However there is an inherent problem with children’s television, even Game Of Thrones would lose its shine for me if had to watch the same episode again and again and again. Actually […]
Let me get straight to the point I’m lazy, I breastfed because it was easier than faffing about with bottles, sterilizing and timing feeds. When I heard about a weaning process which involved throwing sticks of food at a baby I knew immediately this was the one for me. Surely though there must be more […]
