Toddlers vs Sun Hats.

As any parent knows children come in two varieties. Children who wear hats and children who point blank refuse to have anything to do with hats. Once it turns sunny hat hating children will scream as though they are being attacked by killer bees any time a sun hat is within 5 metres of them. […]

Facebook for New Parents

Babies are like fireworks: noisy, dangerously explosive and upsetting to cats and dogs. Just like fireworks babies are best enjoyed from a safe distance and Facebook is the perfect way to share any baby news with  your nearest and dearest people you  once sat next to at a wedding. The first rule about posting baby […]

This is Absolutely NOT About my Fanny.

Pelvic floor muscles are one of those things you only really talk about once you fall pregnant. No sooner do you realise you have them they are ruined.

It’s like discovering you have a beautiful chocolate cake in your cupboard you didn’t know about and then immediately dropping it on the floor. Into shit.*

People told me to make the most of life before I had children.

Go out to dinner! They said.

Enjoy time alone with your partner! I was told.

If I could turn back time I would have sacked off the romantic dinners and spent my free hours enjoying piss free star jumps instead.

How to fail at toilet training. Repeatedly.

My daughter is clever, bright and funny, she will be 3 years old this month and I have absolutely no control over her whatsoever.

For a year now potty training has been a niggling thorn in my side. Friend’s children were ‘done’ at 2 but I was desperate to not be the competitive mum. To be happy whatever happened. To not put pressure on me or her.

Which you must admit is a lovely idea.