As a paper The Daily Mail is not much cop but as a guide to how modern women are just doing it all wrong it is infalliable. Generally we women are just not good enough – we’re either too fat or too thin, wearing the wrong clothes or falling in love with the wrong people. […]
Easter 2014 will forever be remembered as the nadir of my parenting career. Eclipsing the time we started serving our children water in shot glasses and encouraged them to slide glasses along the table top shouting ‘hit me’. It was funny for about 30 minutes before we realised we had basically encouraged a toddler and […]
It’s that time of year again when thoughts turn to summer holidays. This year we are doing Denmark with a 2 and 3 year old. Why Denmark? Well if there’s one thing I’ve learned about children it’s that they love a bit of classic mid century Scandinavian design. My son cannot get enough of the […]
No. Under no circumstances should anyone ever take a toddler to a festival. Look what happened to Chris Martin – 10 years he had to put up with all that macrobiotic shit. Any more questions? OK then. As you were. But hang on I’m still thinking of taking a toddler to a festival…. OK let me […]
Every now and again I like to look through my spam folder and marvel at the wonderful comments Akismet has cruelly stopped the world from reading. I was sad to discover that spammers have improved their language since my last spam roundup. But there have been even more worrying developments. This is from Realestatefmx hello, […]
I don’t normally do reviews on my blog so for my first I have decided to review Mother’s Day 2014. 2014 was my third Mother’s Day as an actual mother and yet again Mr Eeh Bah moaned about having to sort things out ‘You’re not my mum’ he repeats every year. ‘Yes darling but I […]
You will wonder if you had children too early in life.
And if you have had them too late.
You will have both these thoughts an equal amount of times no matter if you had children at 18 or 48.
Oh and yes you probably should have had them earlier. Or later. Whatever.
You did it wrong.
If you were to wander the moors above my house you would oft hear my voice gently trilling: ‘Where in the name of fucking fuck is the lid for this bastard cup!’ (Actually you wouldn’t hear this at all. I never swear in front of my children. They have no idea who their mother really […]
Before I had children I used to go to the hairdressers. This was known as ‘getting a haircut’. Now I am a parent I still go to the hairdressers but this is considered me time. It’s essentially the same thing but now the act of hair shortening is supposed to be some sort of treat. Well I’m sorry but going to […]
Last year I drunkenly signed myself up for martial arts classes. I spent all of 2013 getting the shit kicked out of me every Tuesday evening. And I loved it. So I decided that making rash decisions with little or no thought to my personal safety was the way forward. This year I volunteered to […]
