Anyone who owns small children will know that one of the life’s greatest pleasures is fantasising about all the things you could be doing if only you didn’t have the aforementioned children. In fact it’s a bit of a shock to me as a parent that people who have chosen not to have children aren’t […]
Dear Grazia Features Editor, As a subscriber to your magazine I have noticed that you regularly feature stories of depressed 30 something’s complaining that they have had to move back in with their parents because they drank all their wages/ split up with their boyfriend/ spent it all on handbags. All this is heartbreakingly sad […]
…..is a brilliant title for a blog post. I would totally read a blog post about that. Oh. I used to be amazing at getting out of the house, if I had been a superhero that would have been my special power. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s ‘Arriving At Places […]
Last night I watched The Great British Bake Off and the final two episodes of Breaking Bad.
My stress levels were through the roof but don’t worry I’m not going to spoil anything. You will never find out from me who’s puff pastry didn’t puff.
Watching these shows has inspired me to join in.
Not with the baking.
I have already established baking is not my strong point, neither is making things look good. Also if I learnt one thing from working in telly it would be never kneel on the floor waving your arse in the air in the same room as a cameraman.
Instead I am giving serious consideration to a career as a Crystal Meth cook putting all my research (5 series of Breaking Bad and The Wire) to good use .
To help me make a decision I’ve drawn up a for and against list.
Welcome to the Eeh Bah Mum parenting awards, introducing your host – me, sat at the kitchen table wearing a prom dress and heels, swigging fizzy wine and practising my disappointed face. Oh hang on that’s just my face. Remember when Mick Fleetwood and Sam Fox hosted the Brits? Well this is going to be […]
I do not like princesses. Sorry. I’m not massively keen on fairies either. But I really don’t like princesses. As a 40 year old stay at home mum living in Yorkshire I very rarely come across royalty, either real or fairytale, so to date it has not been much of an issue. Until now. Now […]
But no one does. Because let’s face it we learnt the hard way so why shouldn’t everyone else? Basically children are like cakes – it’s all in the timing. (Does this analogy work? I have never baked a cake.) Anyway timing. Before you have children you are seduced by idyllic scenes of family happiness. The […]
Dearest Jane,
Allow me to introduce myself. Like you I am 41 years old and I also fantasize about James McAvoy wearing britches. Unlike you I am not dead, I own my own property and despite being unmarried, I have 2 children. ( I know get the smelling salts out.)
I couldn’t find you on Facebook or Instagram where I looked for you posing for selfies in a fetching bonnet. Maybe that’s because you have been dead for over 150 years – I’ll check Myspace.
I am writing to apprise you of the political furore you have unwittingly stirred up. Whip out your fan, my dear and get ready to hide your blushes.
You are going to be on the £10 pound note.
Totes amaze! That is some hot bonnet there lady!
My daughter is clever, bright and funny, she will be 3 years old this month and I have absolutely no control over her whatsoever.
For a year now potty training has been a niggling thorn in my side. Friend’s children were ‘done’ at 2 but I was desperate to not be the competitive mum. To be happy whatever happened. To not put pressure on me or her.
Which you must admit is a lovely idea.
Summertime, And the living is …twice as bloody hard as the rest of the year actually Mr Gershwin, Oh, Daddy ain’t rich and Mamma is not lookin’ very good at all, So hush little baby, Don’t you cry. Please stop whinging for one minute. No you’re not having another ice cream. Put that down! […]
