Should I Start Cooking Crystal Meth?

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Last night I watched The Great British Bake Off and the final two episodes of Breaking Bad.

My stress levels were through the roof but don’t worry I’m not going to spoil anything. You will never find out from me who’s puff pastry didn’t puff.

Watching these shows has inspired me to join in.

Not with the baking.

I have already established baking is not my strong point, neither is making things look good. Also if I learnt one thing from working in telly it would be never kneel on the floor waving your arse in the air in the same room as a cameraman.

Instead I am giving serious consideration to a career as a Crystal Meth cook putting all my research (5 series of Breaking Bad and The Wire) to good use .

To help me make a decision I’ve drawn up a for and against list.

How to get Kick Ass Creative

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Back in the days when I had a proper job I worked in television development. This involved being paid to think up new programme ideas. It sounds like fun and it was.

Whilst there was a lot of sitting around drinking tea there was also a great deal of being told your ideas are shit.

In fact it was mainly being told your ideas are shit and then having all the reasons why your ideas are shit pointed out to you before being sent away to go and think up some more ideas that are not quite so shit.

Eventually I got quite good at thinking up ideas that are not, at first glance, complete shit.

And I developed the creative hide of a rhino.

I recently attended a session at the Edinburgh TV Festival where TV bigwigs discussed how to create an atmosphere of er, creativity. It was all about moving away from the daily grind using ping pong tables, glass boxes and cushions.

Well I’m one step ahead of them – I have a floor carpeted with wooden train tracks, some Donna Wilson cushions and a toddler who asks why? at least fifty times a day so here are my top tips for getting kick ass creative.