What Does Your Pram Say About You?

Buying a pram is the most complicated adult process you can go through that doesn’t require a solicitor.

Most parents buy their prams before baby arrives. If you’ve ever ordered lunch for someone who is late you will know what a complicated decision making process that can be, when you are buying a pram you are essentially choosing something for a person who doesn’t even exist yet.

Having said that I doubt there is a mother alive who didn’t know Kate Middleton would buy a Bugaboo. The go-to travel system for people with well to do grandparents, they are designed for ‘busy urban lifestyles’ and let’s face it if anyone is going to be hopping on and off a London bus it’s the style conscious wife of the future King of England.

The Bugaboo is the pram equivalent of an LK Bennet nude court shoe.

Buying the pram is also the first time your partner shows any interest whatsoever in the baby you are about to have – it’s the type of shopping Mr Eeh Bah likes to create a spreadsheet for (no joke).

So while your other half gets all Jeremy Clarkson (I mean in a vehicle reviewing sense not punching Piers Morgan or insulting Mexicans) here are the questions most mums-to-be will want answering.

How do I look pushing the pram?

Go on try it….Yeah you’ll look great cruising down the high street off to grab a coffee.

Now try pushing the pram with one hand whilst holding a hot beverage in the other hand. Can you still steer?

Great! You’re a natural…..Damn, now the phone is ringing.

Try holding the pram steady with your leg  – there is a brake but it will not really work very well… oh and you’re wearing flip flops, you cannot apply a pram brake wearing flip flops – FACT.

Anyway concentrate – with your lower body stop your beloved child from rolling off into oncoming traffic, hold hot drink in one hand and answer your phone before… no missed it.

It’s your partner, call him back, (try hitting buttons with your chin). He is ‘just phoning to check you are alright?’

You are not alright.  You are trying to stop your most treasured possession (the baby not the pram) from rolling into a busy road whilst drinking coffee (stick to soft drinks in future) and shouting swearwords into the phone.

So how do you look pushing the pram?

You look like someone people would cross the street to avoid.

In short you look like a new mum. So go ahead buy the yellow umbrella or the grey one, who gives a toss.

Which way should baby be facing?

For those of you out of the loop the big development in pushchairs is that they are nearly all now parent facing. Basically it means that when you are at your wits end with the baby crying in the house you can leave home and still have a baby screaming in your face.

Isn’t modern design wonderful? God forbid that you and your baby should go out for a relaxing stroll and look at trees or dogs or other people enjoying themselves without children, no there must be direct line of sight between you and your baby at all times.

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I used an old non parent facing pram which was cheap/ free and was lovingly nicknamed The Beast.

The downside of the outward facing pram is that you have to decipher what your child is doing by reading the looks on people’s faces as they walk towards you.

Here is a quick guide:

Smiles or comments about how cute your child is = Baby is asleep.

Pitying looks = Baby is crying.

Looks of horror = Baby is covered in vomit or the wind has stuck a crisp packet to it’s face.

What does this pram say about me as a mother?

For example a Stokke pram looks like you are wheeling a bar stool around the streets and allows your baby to sit up high. It says ‘I am design conscious and my house is full of expensive things that this child will ruin’ – and my baby is staring directly in your face, look at my baby, LOOK AT IT.

Do not buy this pram if there is the slightest chance your baby will be ugly.

If this were a shoe it would be a Nicholas Kirkwood or Charlotte Olympia showstopper.

A  three wheeler says ‘I am sporty and health conscious and I walk everywhere and shop at farmers markets’ – mainly because I cannot get my pram on the bus or through the door of any high street shops.

These prams are heavy I wouldn’t be surprised if Jessica Ennis is not pushing a Phil & Ted’s as part of her training regime.

They are the shoe equivalent of a pair of Birkenstocks (not the fancy fur lined Celine ones).

And of course then there is the Maclaren that you will end up buying in the end anyway.

It’s the push chair that laughs in the face of all the other fancy travel systems.

As far as footwear goes the Maclaren is an old pair of Converse – while all the other shoes are at home gossiping in the bottom of the wardrobe these are out doing all the work.

But which one did you choose?

35 thoughts on “What Does Your Pram Say About You?

  1. I have a Spin. I can have it parent facing and then “spin” it around to be forward facing without having to remove the child. Not sure what that says about me….indecisive? Though I must admit that my main form of baby transport is in a brightly coloured wrap carrier which probably says “attention seeking hippy”.

    • I love my wrap! Will have to do a separate post on baby carriers… Spin sounds good although I think my daughter would end up using it like a baby waltzer for her brother.

  2. Funny funny funny! I had one of those mama & papas 8 in 1 tanks that was a bloody nightmare!! I don’t get the ones that are only parent facing, kid gets a nice view of crotch everytime they’re out in it!

  3. Thank you – made be spatter my soup as I laughed at crisp pack stuck to face! My advice to all my mates is always that you will always end up with at least two buggies (ie trusty maclaren will come into the picture when original and hugely expensive buggy proves impractical for some essential task – eg getting a bus/plane/into a coffee shop).

  4. Giggles love the quick guide Oh i bought a maclaren so im feeling smug and practical, ps do all push chairs fall over if you put more than 3 shopping bags on them surly they can correct that design feature

    • Ah the Maclaren- you have wisdom and insight! I think shopping/pram balancing should become an Olympic Sport. I think I’d be in with a chance of Gold….

  5. We got a Maclaren and we bloody love it. It has gone from birth to ‘Want to walk now, Mummy.’ I did like my sling and my backpack, though, before I got pregnant.with number two.

  6. I left the decision to my other half as I hate pushchairs and prams and all things wheeled because I can’t steer the damn things and end up running people over. He bought the cheapest travel system he could find off ebay in a disturbing shade of shitty newborn poo.

    I used it a few times, entered the world of slings and never looked back. Aforementioned other half then managed to destroy it in a rage whilst trying to fold the piece of shit up.

    We then bought a Maclaren off ebay for £20 just in case, which gets used as a “will you go the fuck to sleep” rocking chair for #2 or when Grandma wants to terrorise the locals.

    • Thanks for visiting! We went straight for the sling/ wrap as we were in a one bed first floor flat. Used my sisters old pram for grandparents (to push no to sit in). Have to say I had my one year old son in the sling when we went on a bear hunt last week and it still feels great. I have never had a warm fuzzy feeling from pushing a pram.

  7. We went for a Silvercross .. hated the friggin thing!! So moved onto a Maclaren haha, the polka dot one in the photo actually, definitely a best buy!

  8. Pingback: Babywearing for beginners. – eeh bah mum

  9. Love this post – not wishing to re mortgage the house for purposes of purchasing a buggy and actually requiring something that could get on the bus and through the tube gates we went for the Maclaren XT. Did feel slightly smug after every one else eventually dumped whatever they’d got and got a Maclaren.

    Have featured this at the Friday Baby Shower – hope to see you at this week’s party, which is now live, Alice

  10. Hee Hee. We use a sixteen year old travel system we got on eBay for forty quid. I’m pretty convinced the sweet lady selling it to me would not have sold it if it had been in a smash up. It has massive wheels that are great ont moors and not so great ont bus. The other mums with prams laugh at us. Instead of the umbrella we have a sick cloth pegged up with clothes pegs. My pram basically says I’m a tramp. A tramp with great muscle tone in the arms.

  11. Great post. We had quinny zapp xtra last time and I hated it, apart from being small when folded it was a disaster. Byt fit into small car boot. Now we have higfer quinny byt baby isn’t here yet so cant say how is it like.

  12. Good post, especially love the bit about front/parent facing. Never got why people would want their babies to only be able to look at them all the time. However, couldn’t disagree with you more about three wheelers. I have a Baby Jogger City Mini GT and I chose it because it’s light, lasts till the baby is about three, and I can fold it with one hand, in one movement, whilst holding the baby. It folds flat. It goes on the bus all the time. I don’t wear birkenstocks.

    Buggies, for first time mums, are peer pressure. That’s why you’re right, they are the equivalent of a shoe on a night out. Yeah, you go out wearing the nude seventeen inch stack heeled slut-drop pumps, looking awesome, but come home in our manky flat Primark ballet shoes with sore feet.

    • the baby jogger sounds good! Our phil and teds is hidden in the garage as the wheels keep going flat and it was costing a fortune in inner tubes.

  13. Loved reading this. Brought back lots of memories and pram envy.
    It seems I am a birkenstock kinda girl (in real life converse for winter, birkenstocks for summer). In reality we couldn’t afford the maclaren after forking out for the heaviest ever ‘all terrain’ maxi-mura something or other.
    Second time round the out n about nipper (stuck with the birkenstocks) was the best ever investment. Light, a little window in the top to view the screams of twins with a footplate for the toddler to sit on.
    Yet still… the maclaren…. worth another child?

  14. I bought a Bugaboo Bee and never did buy a MacLaren. I mostly used a sling for my first, because any pram made me feel massively self conscious as I tried to get in shops/cafes/whatever. Especially if I was out with fellow mums with their prams. I always felt I was in someone’s way and had to say sorry every 2 seconds like a complete drip.

    I did consider getting a MacLaren recently, but the Bee is just so nice to push. And the shitty umbrella fold we got just to do the childmidner run when I was too pregnant and sick to use the sling put me off two handled prams forever. One handed pushing is a boon!

  15. I bought a 3 wheel pram & then realised it wouldn’t fit in the storage place near the front door so I sold it after 1 use, then I bought a Britax B-smart that was brilliant, plenty of room for storing shit under neath, could be parent or general public facing etc & then as a pushchair I bough a Cosatto Yo which was money well spent as my darling child at nearly 3 & 1/2 will still refuse to walk when the mood takes him & the wheels Pop off for ease of shoving it in the boot of the car.
    I loved slings too but having open stomach surgery when my son was 11 months old stopped me wearing him sadly

  16. Oh God. I had a Bugaboo for no. 1, a Phil & Teds for No 1 + No 2 and then that wonderful, beloved, £40-on-gumtree Maclaren. The Techno XT, if your husband and his spreadsheet are interested. It was amazingl. It had a hood that came right down like a clamshell over the child, which my angry toddler would pull right down to indicate disapproval. It was indestructable. The brakes WORKED (although you couldn’t fold it wearing sandals).

    Turns out, though, that you can’t actually carry ALL your shopping and your handbag on the brake handle of a Bugaboo Frog. This is why it only had a brake for the first year and you had to just hold on for the other 3 years. It was lovely and light though, and much better on unsurfaced paths (we live by the Thames in Oxford) than the r-a-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-l-y Maclaren (another point for the spreadsheet?).

  17. I once took the baby out of the Maclaren, handed her to a passer-by, folded the pram (was wearing closed toe shoes, incidentally), and picked up the pram to carry it up the stairs (Paddington, from that shitty platform with the stairs). The man holding the baby asked would I not rather he carry the pram and I carry the baby, but I told him that babies are nicer to hold than prams (she was clean), and he agreed and carried her up the stairs for me.

    Looking back, I handed my children to a lot of passers-by over the years. I kind of assumed that everybody is just dying to hold a baby.

  18. I have a quinny buzz, love it as I do enjoy walking, have a mamas and papas buggy for the car, but I’m expecting a baby in 3 weeks and just bought a icandy apple 2 pear, its a lot heavier than my quinny and the pushing it is a nightmare, it has 4 wheels I’m used to 3 wheels I’m hoping I get used to it, very nice to look at but I can see me buying a Phil and Ted one when my new born is older.

  19. I always find funny how people-seems to be the case particularly in the UK?- remember brand names for prams and travel systems? my pram has 4 wheels and is grey-ish, bought it from another mum (very cheap, £15) and takes us from A to B which sounds good enough when your ” little baby” (3 years old) weights like 25 kilos and is refusing to walk. Never questioned whether it was forward facing or back facing or spins or twists around or has an umbrella etc etc. Is just a pram???? maybe it’s my Mediterranean “laissez faire” approach? anyway mine is grey. ;-P great post btw

  20. As a collector of shoes and prams, I couldn’t possibly choose, I love them all equally and for different purposes, but mostly my 2 year old selfishly wants to walk everywhere now, so they spend most of their days languishing in the garage. A bit like my heels x

  21. I’ve got the bugaboo chameleon. Building it was the best fun in my whole pregnancy (closely followed by conception, but that’s another story, sorry). So yes, building the Boo was great fun, but that’s because I’m an engineer and I like stuff like that.
    For some reason, I had that pregnant illusion that I would go for long walks on the beach etc. the reality? This awesome piece of engineering lived in the boot of my other awesome piece of engineering and was seldom used. Because let’s be honest, it’s not really worth the hassle to get all that out for a trip down the shops when all bubba wants is to snuggle in your arms. The hassle btw is to strap wriggly worm of a bubba in, the Boo is a piece of p, just click and you’re set. Then bubba doesn’t like the buggy board and that just nicks you ankles.
    If anyone fancies a barely used bugaboo, please get in touch LOL. It really is a great pram, if you’re going to be a hands on mum and need a pram at all!

  22. Wanted a Baby Jogger City Mini because it was soooooooooo light and folded with one hand however walk loving labrador that preceded small child meant we needed something a bit more off road so Baby Jogger Summit it was. Heavier and bigger but still awesome – out twice a day with the dog every day. Still going strong 3 years later but mostly parked up at home now as my daughter insists on walking……….really slowly and intensely scrutinising every ant, snail, leaf and footrpint we come across – the dog is not a fan!

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