How to Visit Friends With Small Children: 10 Things you Need to Know

I get it you’re just not that that into kids. Thing is your friends have acquired some and now you’re forced to spend time with them. You’ve hung out together when they were babies and that wasn’t too bad but now they’re walking and talking and doing, er, whatever it is they do. When you don’t have […]

How To Survive Playgroup.

There will be one child sitting quietly doing puzzles.

This will not be your child.

I had hoped this role was allocated on some sort of rota and that one week it would be my daughter quietly amusing herself whilst others looked on in awe. I seem to have been left off the rota.

(If I had a child who sat quietly and entertained themselves I would not need playgroup I would be sitting at home watching This Morning, painting my toenails and writing a blog about what a piece of piss small children are to look after. )

Ten Things I’ve Learnt About Travelling With Small Children.

I don’t know if you’ve ever fled a natural disaster with two young children in tow?

It’s not something I’d recommend. We drove for 4 hours – no toilet breaks, no snack stops, no let’s all have a break from the screaming baby stops – 4 hours on empty roads listening to the emergency services radio telling us to stay indoors.

It was terrifying.

The only positive note was that my bum was clenched so tight for the whole 4 hours my pelvic floor almost returned to its pre-pregnancy state.