I am writing to thank you for your continued support in the raising of my son, aged three, and your sterling work in getting him out of nappies and into pants ‘like what Vikings (and Pirates) wear’. Please pass on my kind regards to Sigurd Snake In the Eye and Ragnar Hairy Breeches, sorry for Grandad renaming your great King Ragnar Hairy Arse which is probably very disrespectful, also not the sort of thing you want a 3 year old shouting in the middle of Marks & Spencer whilst brandishing a baguette.
Dear Pixar, Thank you for your efforts to entertain my children over the summer holidays however I’m afraid I have to take issue with your latest attempt. We took our children to see your feature Inside Out (btw what the hell was with that weird singing volcano shit?) We all enjoyed the film immensely but […]
Do you like my title? I thought it made me sound young and American and a bit of a dick. Only one of those things is true. Anyway now I’ve drawn you in here’s my list of stuff to keep small children entertained when they’re stuck indoors because someone thought it was a good idea to close school/ […]
Do you wanna throw a Frozen themed party? It doesn’t have to be a very good Frozen themed party. Here’s my guide…. My daughter has seen an amazing Frozen cake on Facebook. Awesome. Except the lady who made it lives in California. I have looked into shipping and is not going to work. I’ve already […]
Easter 2014 will forever be remembered as the nadir of my parenting career. Eclipsing the time we started serving our children water in shot glasses and encouraged them to slide glasses along the table top shouting ‘hit me’. It was funny for about 30 minutes before we realised we had basically encouraged a toddler and […]