1. Go inside.
2. Stop fucking moaning.
3. Seriously this is the UK how long will this last? I get it. It’s hot.
4. At least you’re not at work Googling the official temperature an office has to be before your employer legally has to send you home.
5. Ice lolly. Paddling pool. Sorted.
6. Oh shit my list is not long enough. Everyone knows these days anything written on the Internet in list form has to be at least *insert random number here* long.
7. Remember back in the day when you could write in full
8. paragraphs and people would still read your shit? I miss that. Sorry I think the heat is making me grumpy ‘cos, y’know: Jesus Christ! It’s hot outside!
9. Brilliant I made it to 9 that’s a good number. Not like 10 no one does 10 anymore. Ah Fuck it.