I have a confession.
Regular readers of this blog will know that I have never painted myself as the best mother.
I’m not sure trying to be the best mum is a great use of any woman’s energy. Small children are hard work and trying to be ‘the best’ at looking after them is a waste of time – I’m the only mum they’ve got so therefore I am automatically the best and the worst mum they will ever have.
Deal with it kiddos.
So far I’ve admitted that I bribe my children with sweets, compared my daughter to Margaret Thatcher and called my son a dick . I openly admit that I sometimes find looking after small children dull and unrewarding.
But today I am going to blow all those previous admissions out of the water with the single most embarrassing confession ever:
I bloody love my children.
I mean really love them. Loads and loads and loads.
I write about them as though they are annoying little shits – which they are – but despite all the swears the secret truth is that I think they’re both wonderful.
In fact I know you’re totally not meant to admit this EVER but I think my children are the best children I’ve ever met.
Sorry to upset anyone but it’s the truth.
Don’t worry I haven’t completely lost my mind. I still don’t like other people’s children.
Your kids for example?
I don’t like them.
Before I had children I assumed you had to be all ‘I love kids me’ to enjoy being a mum but the surprising truth about becoming a mother is that you can actually be a bit ‘meh’ about children and still enjoy having your own.
Starting a family helps you understand why children are so annoying. Plus once you’ve had your own baby it’s definitely less terrifying being in a room with other peoples babies.
When you first bring home a new born baby you are engulfed with a huge wave of love.
New mums who find themselves drowning in this love are often called baby bores – stupid bloody women getting all soppy and embarrassing over their babies – show some respect woman! Stop posting pictures of your baby on social media NO ONE CARES!
Except that’s kind of the point of being a mum isn’t it?
Sometimes I look at my children sleeping and tears well up in my eyes because they are SO FRICKIN’ PERFECT.
Four years on and by now I’d assumed that the huge waves of love would have subsided but they haven’t I’ve just got better at navigating them.
I love my children just as much as I did in those early days and now I’m not even off my face on drugs or out of my mind with sleep deprivation anymore.
When I see either of my children naked I literally want to eat them. I want to bite into their squishy bums. I want to lick their faces. I chase them around the house demanding mummy cuddles.
Sorry if that makes me sound weird or drippy but hey guess what ?
You can really love your children AND still find them an endless source of amusement.
Hopefully they will say the same thing about me one day.