Why ‘Me’ Time is Bollocks.

Before I had children I used to go to the hairdressers.  This was known as ‘getting a haircut’.

Now I am a parent I still go to the hairdressers but this is considered me time.

It’s essentially the same thing but now the act of hair shortening is supposed to be some sort of treat.

Well I’m sorry but going to a hair salon and staring at my own miserable face for 45 mins while I’m made to look presentable is not my idea of a treat.

As far as I’m concerned me time is a massive crock of shit. Stop trying to make basic maintenance something special.  I’m having a bath not spending a week at a yoga retreat.

A recent survey claimed that new mothers have on average just 17 minutes of me time a day.


Me time is not for mums.  I’m speaking from personal experience here – as a mum the last person  I want to spend 17 minutes with is myself. My life is boring. I don’t need time to reflect on that.

When you are young and free all your time is me time. That’s how life works.

Everything is about you – this is because you are bright and happy and make dumb decisions in life which result in you having to climb out of a toilet window in the middle of a really bad date with a man who may or may not be joking about spending time in prison.

Things like this do not happen once you are a mum.

Once you’re a parent someone else does all the stupid things while you make sensible decisions and worry about speech development and chicken pox.

In Britain we love reality shows like The Only Way Is Essex and Made In Chelsea which feature young, single people making terrible life decisions.

The stars of these shows require me time to reflect on the many ways they have been ‘mugged off’ or ‘disrespected’. They can then use this time to arrange nights out where they can throw drinks in other people’s faces which is apparently the best way to regain respect should you ever find yourself mugged off or disrespected.

I fear for these people when they have children.

Being a parent involves being mugged off and disrespected on an hourly basis. I have tried throwing drinks in my children’s faces but it is simply a waste of Pinot noir.

So as far as I’m concerned as a mum you can stick your me time where I stick my children’s art work – in the bin.


A wonderfully bonkers American blogger read this post and whipped herself into an angry frenzy at the thought of me chucking wine in my children’s faces, in fact she was so incensed that she penned a delightful blog post calling me a bitch and diagnosing me with post natal depression.

You can read my reply here if you like, or simply get on with enjoying what’s left of your 17 minutes peace.



21 thoughts on “Why ‘Me’ Time is Bollocks.

  1. So true. And going to the supermarket alone is not ‘going out’ I’d like to know where the average mother fits in 17 minutes of ‘me time’. Does that include going to the toilet alone?

  2. Fab post!! Very true. When I go to the hair dressers I take my diary and try to get my head around all the stuff I now need to factor into my life…we have parents evening next week. The toddler is 2 1/2!!

  3. Ha Ha! Once again a very amusing post! I really should stop reading your posts while at work as I laugh out loud and smirk to myself – everyone must think I am insane or maybe just smug?! x

  4. Love this post! And I hate hairdressers too (staring in the mirror only makes me feel old these days – fortunately don’t have time to do it very often.) Oh and the poem’s a big improvement on the original too.

  5. So true. I am so sick of myself it is ridiculous. I now shower rather than bath even when I actually have the time so I don’t have to listen to my own whiney thoughts!

  6. No, ‘me time’ is not bollocks and it is not selfish. I have 3 children, including 3 year old twins. I cut my own hair and do shopping online. However ‘me time’ is when I hide in my room with a book for a bit while my husband takes over. If I didn’t do this sometimes I would go insane. Some people might not need their personal space or quiet time to reflect – but I do! It doesn’t make me a bad mother – I love them and look after them for the majority of my waking minutes 🙂

  7. Properly funny. When exactly did a trip to the hairdressers become ‘me time’? Around about the same time a father looking after his own children whilst their mother went out became ‘babysitting’ I suspect.

  8. Oh, Eehbahmum, My children are now 11, 17, and 19, and I’m only just now finding a bit of time for “me’, though I did get a call at 4:17 this morning, after going to sleep at midnight, from my 17-year-old son who is abroad doing a school-sponsored trip saying his girlfriend of 2 years broke up with him . . . so I was off to call the airlines to get him on a flight to New York so he can talk with her. I’m absolutely shattered. Back to being a “mum.” Even if I can’t get much ‘me’ time, I’d love a full night of ‘me sleep’!
    Love your posts!

  9. Great post. Even going to the loo gets dressed up as me time in my house. It’s a desperate state of affairs. and quite frankly I haven’t got time for that sh*t….

  10. Ah yes, the freedom to do stupid things, that’s what I miss, but I only just realised it. All those sensible sentences I utter all day about what not to put in your mouth/jump off/throw at your sister, honestly the tedium of my own voice drives me crazy. I actually don’t know what I would do with “proper” me time if it jumped up and hit me over the head with a rice cracker.

  11. I agree that a haircut is not a treat… Although there is a way to not have to stare at yourself in a mirror for ages while you’re there. I love going to Lisa shepherd in Birmingham. Instead of sticking you in front of the mirror you can go and sit in their lounge, snack, open their smeg fridge and have a can of gin and tonic or a glass of wine. Now that’s getting closer to ‘me time’!

  12. Fan-tas-tic! You nailed it – if I wasn’t so sleep deprived I would have laughed my head off…I’m just heading now for some me time: time in the loo without someone shrieking my name.. well done , you got my vote for the Mads and I’m following you on bloglovin
    love from the rugratbag

  13. What a fantastic insight – yes, we should stop desperately trying to find me-time, that’s for young and stupid people. I think accepting this might make me a lot happier with life!!

  14. I love this! I went to the hospital this week for monitoring (am pregnant) without my 2 toddlers and was asked by the midwife if I was enjoying my ‘me time’!

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