Last year I received a lovely email from a guy who worked in publishing who had read my blog and wondered if I had ever thought about writing a book. That’s like asking if I’ve ever thought about Kit Harington popping round to do the ironing naked.
Winter is coming!
Of course I’ve thought about writing a book! But thinking about writing a book doesn’t actually get a book written, neither does talking about writing a book, reading about writing a book or even going on writing courses which are all about writing a book. Bummer.
So I told him I was far too busy thinking, reading and talking about writing a book to actually write one, perhaps he could email me again sometime later?
Have I ever mentioned I am a massive idiot? People, when someone emails you out of the blue offering to help you with the one thing in life you’ve always really, really wanted don’t tell them you’re too busy. Unless what you’ve always really, really wanted was a bigger penis, you should definitely ignore those emails.
A few months later publishing guy emailed back and suggested meeting up for lunch, obviously my first thoughts were that he was pretending to be a publisher so he could kidnap me and harvest my hair to knit into a scarf. But my second thought was, hmm lunch. Also I have really short hair.
I printed out my idea for a book and went to meet him. Amazingly he didn’t want to kidnap me at all, and he liked my idea for a book. So I wrote it. And he published it. Now I have a book coming out.
And it’s terrifying.
At Mumsnet’s Blogfest conference author Val McDermid talked about ignoring people who say ‘know your place’, people who want to burst your creative bubble, people who would stop you from achieving the things you want to do.
But what if the person saying these things is you?
Well Val McDermid is a literary legend and all round fabulous, and as I have already told you, I am a massive idiot so the choice was simple, listen to Val! So I’m ignoring the part of me that finds self promotion excruciatingly embarrassing and I’m going to tell you to buy my book.
Because it’s good. There I said it.
It’s a book that I would have liked to read when I first had a baby. A parenting book that doesn’t tell you what to do, a parenting book that’s funny, a parenting book that talks about how starting a family very often involves losing a baby.
Essentially I’ve written a book about having babies which contains no useful information about having babies, that aims to be funny but also has a whole chapter about miscarriage.
I know, sounds amazing!