We are going away skiing for a whole week.
Without the kids.
Mr Eeh Bah is worried we will miss them.
‘I’m worried we’ll miss the kids.’ He moans.
‘But there’s free champagne and a hot tub’. I reply incredulous.
‘A week is a long time to be away.’ He claims.
Not when you’re drunk in a hot tub I think. I bet a week passes pretty quickly when you are drinking bubbles whilst sitting in bubbles.
Also we are going skiing with a big group of friends, none of whom will want to watch the same episode of Swashbuckle 14 times in a row. Or maybe they will. I won’t care I will be pissed in the hot tub.
If there are any scienstists out there doing research into how long a mother could comfortably sit in a hot tub drinking champagne before she started to feel bad about missing her kids I would be happy to volunteer. In the interests of science.
I keep looking at the picture of the hot tub online. It gives me such a warm feeIing inside I have decided to make it my screensaver. That photo of the children laughing on the swings in the sun is a bit too summery. I like to be seasonal with my screen saver. Also the hot tub has never vomited over any of my Christmas presents.
The past week we have had nights filled with coughing and musical beds. One night it got so bad, I heard coughing, went to the cot and panicked when I couldn’t find my son. He was in bed next to me coughing right into my face. Sleep deprivation can send you crazy.
I’m even starting to worry I’ll miss the kids.
‘But there’s free champagne and a hot tub’. Mr Eeh Bah reminds me.
A week is a long time to be away when one of the children is not well though.
I check my screen saver but it is no good. The hot tub has lost it’s warm glow.
Time for another change.
This time I choose a picture of the chalet bedroom.
Stuff the hot tub and the champagne. I might just spend a whole week in bed.