…..is a brilliant title for a blog post. I would totally read a blog post about that.
I used to be amazing at getting out of the house, if I had been a superhero that would have been my special power.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s ‘Arriving At Places On Time And In Clean Clothes Girl!’
OK so the name needs a bit of work but you get the idea.
I was awesome at leaving home fully dressed. I just used to get up and go.
‘Get Up And Go Girl!
Ka Pow. In your face morning routine. Suck it up punctuality.
That was then. Things have changed. Now I am shit at leaving the house.
How can you be shit at something so simple as walking through your own front door you ask?
Well obviously it’s not me it’s them.
I know it’s wrong to blame the children for everything but I’ve thought long and hard about this and it is definitely their fault.
Small children are the Kryptonite to my punctuality based superpowers.
Sarah Jessica Parker compared leaving the house with small children to a military operation. Unlike SJP I have never been on a military operation (what did she wear?) but I doubt very much they involve everyone sitting on the hall floor crying and wearing one shoe each 20 minutes after you’re are already meant to be somewhere.
( If military operations are like this I have seriously missed my calling.)
I hate my front door it is the wooden panelled backdrop to all my biggest failings.
Every time I look at it I see all the moaning and crying and shouting and refusing to go out without 17 jigsaws and a drawer full of plastic spoons, even though we are only actually driving 2 minutes down the road to nursery because we are already too late to walk there. Just put your coat on PLEASE. Yes back to front I don’t care.
I’m sorry if you feel cheated by this post as I really have no idea how to get out of the house on time but I suspect the answer involves not having any children or if you do have children either
A) Putting children to bed fully dressed with shooes glued to their feet every night.
B) No sorry that’s it. I’m all out of ideas.
Got to dash I’m late to pick my daughter up from pre school.