You know those mums?
The ones that look down their noses at you and your snot covered offspring. The ones with a tribe of picture perfect children all wearing immaculate Breton tops and snacking on hummus and crudités.
The ones who can’t help but brag about how wonderful their children are. How quickly they slept through, how they’ve been nappy free since 18 months and do excuse my eldest for some reason today she is only speaking in French. Quelle Horreur!
You know them?
Because I’m not sure I do.
I think we definitely think they exist and let’s face it they make for great headlines but I’m not convinced outside of a comedy stereotype that they actually exist.
Maybe you have met them and can tell me different but I have lived in leafy North London and a northern nappy valley and I have never come across a mum who I thought was a total Katie Hopkins.
Possibly I move in the wrong (do I mean right?) circles. Maybe they spot me soothing a teething baby with pickled onion Monster Munch and steer well clear.
Or are they just a stereotype created to sell newspapers and kick up a storm on Twitter?
Once when my son was screaming and 4 pints of milk had burst open in the bottom of my pram I sat down in a cafe and started to cry. Three mums, total strangers, helped me clear up and told me not to worry. One of them gave me a hug. She was wearing Breton stripes.
Their kindness only made me sob more. It was an embarrassingly touching scene for 11am in Cafe Nero.
But let’s face it – ‘Mums: Generally Quite Nice Actually!’ is not a story that’s going to sell many newspapers.
I’d love to hear if anyone has met a real life version of bitchy middle class mum. I’m sure those stories are much funnier than getting a hug in a cafe from a total stranger.
But isn’t it time we found something else to laugh at?
(Ooh ending on a question. I feel like Carrie Bradshaw. *looks like a total twat in tutu and crop top*)