Does ‘Bitchy Middle Class Mum’ Exist?

You know those mums?

Yeah those mums.

The ones that look down their noses at you and your snot covered offspring. The ones with a tribe of picture perfect children all wearing immaculate Breton tops and snacking on hummus and crudités.

The ones who can’t help but brag about how wonderful their children are. How quickly they slept through, how they’ve been nappy free since 18 months and do excuse my eldest for some reason today she is only speaking in French. Quelle Horreur!

You know them?

Because I’m not sure I do.

I think we definitely think they exist and let’s face it they make for great headlines but I’m not convinced outside of a comedy stereotype that they actually exist.

Maybe you have met them and can tell me different but I have lived in leafy North London and a northern nappy valley and I have never come across a mum who I thought was a total Katie Hopkins.

Possibly I move in the wrong (do I mean right?) circles. Maybe they spot me soothing a teething baby with pickled onion Monster Munch and steer well clear.

Or are they just a stereotype created to sell newspapers and kick up a storm on Twitter?

Once when my son was screaming and 4 pints of milk had burst open in the bottom of my pram I sat down in a cafe and started to cry. Three mums, total strangers, helped me clear up and told me not to worry. One of them gave me a hug. She was wearing Breton stripes.

Their kindness only made me sob more. It was an embarrassingly touching scene for 11am in Cafe Nero.

But let’s face it –   ‘Mums: Generally Quite Nice Actually!’ is not a story that’s going to sell many newspapers.

I’d love to hear  if anyone has met a real life version of  bitchy middle class mum. I’m sure those stories are much funnier than getting a hug in a cafe from a total stranger.

But isn’t it time we found something else to laugh at?


(Ooh ending on a question. I feel like Carrie Bradshaw. *looks like a total twat in tutu and crop top*)


28 thoughts on “Does ‘Bitchy Middle Class Mum’ Exist?

  1. I don’t know, round here you only get scummy mummies with 10 children and numerous fake benefit claims, living in they big posh tax-payer funded houses with their massive TVs and formula milk on tap.*

    *May be exaggeration.

  2. I have met some twatty middle class mums at baby and toddler classes – my favourite was the one who asked why I had dressed my then 1 year old girl ‘like a boy – did I want to turn her into a lesbian?’ I couldn’t think of single thing to say back to her that wouldn’t result in my arrest. (and my daughter was in jeans and er, a yellow t-shirt…)

    She also referred to one of the other women’s husbands as a ‘total dilf’ and told another woman she couldn’t BELIEVE Astrid had bought a yellow Bugaboo, doesn’t she know what that means?! Sadly, I never found out what it meant, and never went back to that class!

  3. Oh I HAVE – according to “Hector’s” Mummy – he is 3 and a chocolate biccie would never pass her boys lips (even if you offered him one) as he much prefers cherry tomatoes (have yet to meet a toddler in West Central Scotland who would pass up a Freddo bar for a tomato)……… and she has given up work to be a SAHM (same as me) – but unlike me will be spending her free time doing stuff that is productive and educational……. Hmmmmmmmm………..

    • I’d love free time to do stuff that is productive and educational. First on my to do list is to clear the backlog of programmes on my tv recorder thingy.

  4. I definitely think these ‘designer babygrow’ mums exist but I think they are rather nice! Although, i once admitted to them during a trial session of Gym Babes (they love that shit. …Sorry but i can’t afford £5 a week for my baby to basically crawl around the floor. She can do that at home for free) feeding my children baby food from jars rather than Annabel Karmel. They were politely disgusted…

  5. Really interesting post. Have thought a lot about how hard we (mums) are on each other, about birth, sleep patterns, breastfeeding, potty training, weaning, working/not working, healthy eating….the list goes on. But like you, my own experience out in the real world has been one of small kindnesses from strangers. So maybe it’s just that we need to accept we’re all too hard on ourselves, chuck away the bossy baby books (yes you Gina Ford) and ignore the Daily Mail. See, I feel better already!

  6. I met a middle class bitchy Dad who told me how after his wife had seen me with my baby, she realised how much she actually knew about motherhood! This seemed to include knowing the ‘right’ schools even though my daughter was only a few weeks old. Said wife would possibly have been horrified her husband was saying all this, but we didn’t keep in touch to find out…

  7. I’m a SAHM who has 2 sons, eldest is 12 and the youngest 8. An Alpha Mum (ex friend!) asked me outright ‘No pressure then to go back to work?!’ I replied sweetly ‘No I’m kept busy with all my ‘unpaid’ work!’ I do a fair bit of volunteering at the school, PTA etc. It shut her up – although I think she thinks I’m lazy/stupid/an heiress!! I’m none of them! It would be nice to have some extra money but what I used to do would require me to work rather long hours and as I have an almost 5 year gap between my sons I want to give the younger one the same upbringing as his brother. He recently said “Please don’t go back to work Mum as I still need you!’

    Motherhood is a funny old club to belong to – I realised long ago how competitive some Mums can be and if your child isn’t part of the ‘cool’ gang then sometimes as a Mother you aren’t either. Just because you have children the same age it doesn’t mean that you have to get along. Generally though I have met some really lovely mums and dads over the years and just politely say hello to the ones that irritate me (politeness and a smile goes a long way!!) and enjoy the company of the ones that are ‘singing from the same song sheet as me!’

    • I totally agree. I probably just steer clear of anyone out I think is going to make me feel bad. I just think it’s a shame that most mums I’ve met have been lovely but it’s the bitchy competitive ones we read about. I honestly do not know anyone who gives any thought to their school run outfit but the amount of articles I’ve read you’d think it was all mums had to worry about!

  8. I’m guessing the truth is that some bitchy people exist, and that those people sometimes have children. I don’t think post-natal bitchiness is a thing. I would also guess that bitchiness is not related to class. I’m not guessing when I say that the Daily Mail is a pile of shit.

  9. I actually live in Highgate and have overheard some terribly middle class mummies, and laughed openly both at them and with them (as well as at myself). None of them are anything as hideous as Katie Hopkins, but then she is just a panto villain.

  10. I have met one or two. One experience that stuck with me is when I had my daughter late november and was christmas shopping when she was about 2/3 weeks old while my nearly 3 year old was at Nursery and I bumped into a friend of a friend. I probably looked like s@#t (almost definately) and she was all like “I didn’t know you had another baby – how r u?” And I was like ok apart from lack of sleep. Then she reported back to mutual friend “I saw nicola she looked like.
    crap I don’t understand how these women cant get their children to sleep ” I now avoid her _ what happened to sister solidarity!
    Ps I love your blogs eeh babe Mum they often make my day. X

  11. I do remember something quite funny which happened a while back – my husband went to the swimming pool with our kids aged 4 & 2 and after the end of the baby swimming time he was in the cafe with the kids. The little one was screaming that she wants to go back in the pool and would not understand when she was told the pool was now closed. They had ordered food and my husband and son was happily eating it but my daughter was geared towards the tantrum mode — so running out of explanations, my husband poured a bottle of water on screaming daughter, which made her whine but the screaming stopped. Two mums came from another table to tell him off for being so violent to the child — and they even reported him to me a few days later when they saw all of us around!… We had never spoken with them before, they were complete strangers who happened to use the same public sports centre… We stopped going there for a while…

    • shocking children out of a tantrum works quite well. this is how I discovered pickled onion monster munch were great teething soothers. I am MOST impressed at your husband taking a 2 and 4 year old to the swimming pool he deserves some kind of award for that alone.

  12. West London had its moments. I was once told by a patient (and Mum) that she was so relieved to find out I was pregnant as she had been wondering why I had been wearing last seasons clothes.
    I was just surprised that what I was wearing could be thought of as “last season.” It was a baggy old cardigan hiding the bulge before it was a bump.

  13. Yes! I love this. You are two years ahead of me in my thinking – even down to the ‘mums are alright actually’ headline. I like the idea that middle-class snooty (I first wrote snotty) mum is powered solely by Katie Hopkins’ wishful thinking. There are definitely none of them around these parts (or they are also giving me a wide birth…).

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