It’s that time of year again when thoughts turn to summer holidays.
This year we are doing Denmark with a 2 and 3 year old.
Well if there’s one thing I’ve learned about children it’s that they love a bit of classic mid century Scandinavian design. My son cannot get enough of the chairs of Finn Juhl although his sister claims Arne Jacobsen is the Godfather of contemporary seating design.
Me and Mr Eeh Bah are looking forward to discussing the architecture of Bjarke Ingels with them over a plate of deer lichen and live ants at Noma. (Must phone ahead and check what their policy is on diners rubbing food into their hair. I imagine they encourage it.)
Obviously I am expecting to do none of this. We will be spending our days at the swings. But I don’t care they will be Danish swings and we will love every minute of it.
If you’ve never been on holiday with small children and are wondering what to expect then let me enlighten you – expect everything to be exactly the same as it is at home but way more difficult.
Very young children do not tend to enter into the holiday spirit. If anything the addition of extra sunshine and unusual surroundings only upsets them, on top of which you are hundreds of miles away all the important things – like CBeebies and their favourite green plate.
So we figured the best plan is to go somewhere the adults want to go and then at least someone is happy. When they are older we’ll do the proper family holiday but the last time we took our children to the beach we discovered sand is a bit like meeting Santa – you think they’re going to love it – but they don’t. We showered the beach with tears and screams and put beach holidays on the backburner for a while.
Rather brilliantly Denmark does look like a great place to take children – it’s home to Legoland and is full of Viking history – there’s even a museum where children get to play with real axes which already sounds like more fun than Disneyland.
But if I’m totally honest we’re going so that I can practice all the Danish swear words I’ve picked up from watching Borgen and The Bridge.
Vor helvede! Hej! Pis! For fanden! Tak!
Actually I think I may have got Hello and Thank You mixed up in there but what the heck it will make for an interesting holiday.