How do you choose a family holiday?

It’s that time of year again when thoughts turn to summer holidays.

This year we are doing Denmark with a 2 and 3 year old.

Why Denmark?

Well if there’s one thing I’ve learned about children it’s that they love a bit of classic mid century Scandinavian design. My son cannot get enough of the chairs of Finn Juhl  although his sister claims Arne Jacobsen is the Godfather of contemporary seating design.

Me and Mr Eeh Bah are looking forward to discussing the architecture of Bjarke Ingels with them over a plate of deer lichen and live ants at Noma.  (Must phone ahead and check what their policy is on diners rubbing food into their hair. I imagine they encourage it.)

Obviously I am expecting to do none of this. We will be spending our days at the swings. But I don’t care they will be Danish swings and we will love every minute of it.

If you’ve never been on holiday with small children and are wondering what to expect then let me enlighten you –  expect everything to be exactly the same as it is at home but way more difficult.

Very young children do not tend to enter into the holiday spirit. If anything the addition of extra sunshine and unusual surroundings only upsets them, on top of which you are hundreds of miles away all the important things – like CBeebies and their favourite green plate.

So we figured the best plan is to go somewhere the adults want to go and then at least someone is happy. When they are older we’ll do the proper family holiday but the last time we took our children to the beach we discovered  sand is a bit like meeting Santa – you think they’re going to love it – but they don’t. We showered the beach with tears and screams and put beach holidays on the backburner for a while.

Rather brilliantly Denmark does look like a great place to take children – it’s home to Legoland and is full of Viking history  – there’s even a museum where children get to play with real axes  which already sounds like more fun than Disneyland.

But if I’m totally honest we’re going so that I can practice all the Danish swear words I’ve picked up from watching Borgen and The Bridge.

Vor helvede! Hej! Pis! For fanden! Tak!

Actually I think I may have got Hello and Thank You mixed up in there but what the heck it will make for an interesting holiday.


6 thoughts on “How do you choose a family holiday?

  1. Very funny Kirsty and i do identify with the beach situation. Unhappy memories of why sandwiches really got their name. Anyway hope you all end getting sonething out of Denmark, goodness knows they owe us for all that Danegelt we had to pay them in extortion when they threatened us with their longships and horny hats. Have a Good Easter in the meantime and see you later or as they say over there “Hi Hi”!! x

  2. I have taken the view that they love the sandpit therefore will love the beach. I recon we have to try it once, right? My other half wanted to catch a train across Siberia, I am quite keen to show my family the Rockies. So a compromise of a beach holiday in the Balearics with the grandparents is the outcome. Look forward to hearing how Norway shapes up.

  3. Indeed, Tak! that’s what you get from watching too many danish tv shows.

    I would hope to hear about you purchasing mini Faroe Island, crime solving jumpers in Denmark.

  4. Being danish you have not idea how happy this posts makes me. 🙂 Let me know if you need a bit of insider help on the subject on where to go 🙂 and Hej and tak means Hi and Thanks, perhaps not swear words.

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