This is officially ‘the best tea ever’ my daughter said so and she is always right.
Apart from when she tells me she can’t tidy her room because there are crocodiles asleep in her bed.
I love making this because it’s dead easy, it’s got healthy stuff in it and my children eat it. Hallelujah!
I mean actually eat it.
They don’t wipe it in their hair.
Or throw it on the floor.
Or drown it in tears.
They just sit down and eat it.
Honestly it’s a frickin’ miracle dish.
The only real problem is that you need to do some forward planning as it requires leftover rice.
This is important.
Not like when those chefs on the telly say it’s important to buy olive oil that costs more than fizzy wine, more like when you tell your partner not to give them dinner on the blue plate, but he does anyway and then gets beans on toast thrown in his face because, duh, it’s ON THE WRONG PLATE, STUPID.
This is that kind of important.
Hot saucy beans in the face important.
You’re probably saying to yourself right now:
‘Why should I take notes on forward planning from a woman in her 40’s with two pre-school children? She is clearly shit at forward planning.’
Which I am.
But rice? You should definitely listen to me about rice.
Basically make too much rice the night before, whack it in the fridge.
Stop your moaning.
You will need:
- Leftover rice
- Chicken. Or pork. Or a sausage. I’ve used chorizo before. Or no meat at all.
- Vegetables, fresh or frozen
- An egg
- Sunflower/ groundnut/ vegetable oil
- Soy sauce
- Sesame oil
How to make it:
Chop up all the chicken and veg. Not the peas. What are you? Some kind of idiot?
You can literally throw anything thing in this dish and it will work.
But not beetroot. I tried it once and it tasted funky.
Heat some oil in your frying pan or wok and cook the chicken then add the veg and throw in the rice.
Mistakenly attempt that fancy tossing thing they always do on telly.
Imagine your dinner flying through the air in slo mo while your friends from across the globe sit around your designer kitchen laughing and flashing their perfect teeth.
Ignore all the bits you’ve dropped on the floor. The runner will clean that up.
Remember you are not recording an imaginary tv cookery show, you are at home making dinner for 2 screaming kids and there is no runner to pick up shit off your floor.
Think about getting a dog. Again.
And some international friends with good teeth who like laughing at people who cook.
Crack the egg into the pan and stir through until cooked.
Splash in a small amount of soy sauce and a small drizzle of sesame oil.
Throw on plastic plates and put your feet up happy in the knowledge that you have cooked a proper dinner and can therefore feed the children beans again tomorrow.
My son likes to pick up each grain of rice individually which takes aaages and means I have time to do important things like checking up what cats are doing on the Internet.
Man Man Chi!