This is Absolutely NOT About my Fanny.

Pelvic floor muscles are one of those things you only really talk about once you fall pregnant. No sooner do you realise you have them they are ruined.

It’s like discovering you have a beautiful chocolate cake in your cupboard you didn’t know about and then immediately dropping it on the floor. Into shit.*

People told me to make the most of life before I had children.

Go out to dinner! They said.

Enjoy time alone with your partner! I was told.

If I could turn back time I would have sacked off the romantic dinners and spent my free hours enjoying piss free star jumps instead.