14 reasons I’m not following you on Twitter

You can’t spell.
You are a brand not a person. Yes I like your tasty yogurt. No I don’t want to have a fucking conversation with it about Star Wars.
I don’t know who you are and your biog doesn’t tell me that either. I’m really not interested in the fact you drink too much wine or own a dog.
I read your biog and decided you looked a bit annoying.
I read your biog and decided you looked too exciting. I don’t want a Twitter feed full of people making my life look rubbish. *
For a while there I was really into something that you were really into and now I’m not that into that thing anymore and I can’t for the life of me remember why I’m following you but it was nice while it lasted. Laters.

We bought a house!

It’s been quiet on the blog recently because I’ve finally run out of things to say. Mwahahaha. As if. Nah I had a break from writing over the summer so I could concentrate on shouting ‘Get back here now!’ at the kidlets. After seven weeks I can now project exactly the right level of anger […]

Frozen vs Inside Out

Dear Pixar, Thank you for your efforts to entertain my children over the summer holidays however I’m afraid I have to take issue with your latest attempt. We took our children to see your feature Inside Out (btw what the hell was with that weird singing volcano shit?) We all enjoyed the film immensely but […]