Before I had my daughter I remember being quite worried about what was going to happen to my tits.
For the benefit of any mums-to- be this is what I have learned from breastfeeding my two children.
Let’s start with the good stuff –the really good news is that post baby boobs look awesome. Enjoy your Katie Price moment. I bought a Vivienne Westwood dress to rest mine in which made me feel a million dollars. I smelt like warm yogurt but you can’t have everything.
You will be doing the best thing for your baby. There is a trend for moaning about smug mums who breastfeed. Breast feeding is not easy it takes time, determination and sore nipples so feel free to feel smug.
The bad news is that you will have to adapt what you wear. You can kiss goodbye to dresses for a while and become good friends with some depressingly awful underwear.
There are lots of supposedly sexy nursing bras including the brilliantly named Hot Milk range but the Agent Provocateur nursing bra I bought just didn’t cut it and has rarely been worn whereas the beige horror that made me cry when I first laid eyes on it is never off.
Just remember where all the sexy underwear got you last time….
People will tell you “if it hurts you’re doing it wrong”. This is a lie, it does hurt at first – your nipples get sore, ducts get blocked and it takes a good 6 weeks to get the hang of it but after that it does get easier.
My biggest worry was how on earth I was going to feed a baby in public without everybody seeing my nipples. Fast forward a couple of years and there was baby number 2 happily suckling away whilst I waved at the Queen, stood up, in the pissing rain. Breastfeeding in public is easy – here is my secret…
I was furtively feeding my 6 week old daughter in Selfridge’s cafe busy silently fretting about all the things new mums fret about when I forgot to put my right boob away.
I just sat there one boob in, one boob out.
And then I realised. My first thought was thank God it wasn’t Liberty’s.
If you’re reading this and cringing you don’t need to worry because that was the very moment I cracked the whole breastfeeding in public thing. Just remember this:
The world will not end if you accidentally flash your norks.
No one will cry or point or scream. You will simply feel mildly embarrassed … what I’m trying to say is don’t worry – your boobs are awesome, wave them about a bit.
I’ve seen mums fumbling under muslins, cardis and with those weird breastfeedy shoulder blankets but the real secret to breastfeeding in public is not to worry. What’s the worst that could happen?
Whilst I’m all for us ladies waving our charlies around in public I think it’s about time we had No More Page Three, sign the petition at: http://www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/dominic-mohan-take-the-bare-boobs-out-of-the-sun-nomorepage3