When you party hard it is customary to wake up the next day with no money and no idea where your money went.
Never mind, you tell yourself, at least I had a good time and I still have both my kidneys.
And a giant pair of comedy glasses…where the hell did they come from?
When you have children your money disappears in a similar way but you have not always had a good time. Sometimes you have had a terrible time. And you have spent all your money on having a terrible time.
And more importantly you have not even been out.
You have simply spunked all your cash on nappies, baby wipes and nipple cream (which is nowhere near as much fun as it sounds).
Nina and the Neurons, Granny Murray, Woolly &Tig, Nurse Morag:
Yes, CBeebies is teaching children that the world is full of friendly Scottish people with entirely comprehensible accents.
Cartoons have come under fire for portraying male role models negatively. But what about female role models? I decided to take a closer look at CBeebies.
Other channels are available.
But not in our house.
Every time adverts appear my daughter starts crying ‘Where has my telly gone Mummy?’
Whilst I can sing all the songs and repeat entire shows worth of dialogue I am totally clueless about what is actually happening on screen because telly time is when I get stuff done. (Dinner tonight brought to you care of Tesco’s and Get Squiggling.)
In fact the only time I have ever watched what’s on the screen I saw the Tweenies playing with Jimmy Savile.
So I was reading The Daily Mail online ( I know: No good sentence ever started with these words but stick with me).
I was reading The Daily Mail for research purposes when a story broke that was so huge I had to drop everything and write this post.
Shit the bed people Kate Winslet is pregnant!
Unable to make up my mind what I should think about a woman I have never met having a baby with her husband I turned to the comments at the bottom of the article – 476 at the time of writing – to find out what readers of The Daily Mail think about it.
OK so they’re not just readers of The Daily Mail, they are readers of The Daily Mail who have been so moved by a Daily Mail article they felt compelled to comment.
Most comments were negative although to be fair there were a few people sticking up for Kate, an effort I can only liken to watching a small boy trying to piss out a forest fire.
Once you have children you will find yourself doing lots of things that you said you would never do. If you do not have children or plan on having children please feel free to enjoy this list with a smug aloofness (imagine you’re a member of the Bullingdon Club) and when people tell you that […]