Early morning, we are all in the car. Eeh Bah Son is screaming loudly the rest of us are screaming quietly on the inside. Eeh Bah Daughter: I spy with my little eye something beginning with car. There are no other cars. Eeh Bah Mum: Is it a car? Eeh Bah Daughter: Yes. Laughs manically […]
Like most mothers I wear many hats. (Not literally. I only have two real hats.) Sometimes I’m a mum, sometimes I’m a blogger but a lot of the time I’m just stupid. Stupid Me gets bored easily.She is slapdash and hates having to wait. Stupid Me ploughs ahead regardless, safe in the knowledge that Not […]
I am desperate. It is too cold to venture out and Eeh Bah Son is not well. Plus I bumped the car in our rush to get to the doctors and have got the fear behind the wheel again. Desperate times call for desperate measures. We are staying in. We are going to make mince […]
When you become a mother a whole new world of worry opens up to you: Am I a good mum? Are my children happy? Will they pick up their father’s southern accent? But for me the biggie, the one that keeps me awake at night, is the thought that I could wake up one morning […]
Whilst I am loathe to stoke the flames of this discussion which kicked off at the recent Mumsnet Blogfest I do feel there is a point I need to address.
Exactly what jam related activities are acceptable feminist activities?
Personally I’m not overly concerned about not being able to make jam. Who the fuck makes jam anyway?
Even jam factories don’t make jam any more it’s all compotes and jellies and shit these days.
My other half once bought Seville marmalade oranges at the supermarket and tried to cover up his mistake by saying he thought I might like to make marmalade.
I Googled a recipe and was shocked to discover preserve making involves a lot of time, effort and vats of boiling sugar. I am not a woman who should be left in charge of pans of boiling sugar, I flail my arms around. A lot.
I’m also easily distracted. This post was meant to be about jam. Or feminism. Not marmalade.
One Rule To Rule them All The first rule of soft play is that no one talks about soft play. If you did they wouldn’t believe you. I have only written this down so that future generations will know our pain. Fade In: Tonight’s episode of Who Do You Think You Are? features Eeh Bah […]
Anyone who owns small children will know that one of the life’s greatest pleasures is fantasising about all the things you could be doing if only you didn’t have the aforementioned children. In fact it’s a bit of a shock to me as a parent that people who have chosen not to have children aren’t […]
Dear Grazia Features Editor, As a subscriber to your magazine I have noticed that you regularly feature stories of depressed 30 something’s complaining that they have had to move back in with their parents because they drank all their wages/ split up with their boyfriend/ spent it all on handbags. All this is heartbreakingly sad […]
…..is a brilliant title for a blog post. I would totally read a blog post about that. Oh. I used to be amazing at getting out of the house, if I had been a superhero that would have been my special power. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s ‘Arriving At Places […]
Last night I watched The Great British Bake Off and the final two episodes of Breaking Bad.
My stress levels were through the roof but don’t worry I’m not going to spoil anything. You will never find out from me who’s puff pastry didn’t puff.
Watching these shows has inspired me to join in.
Not with the baking.
I have already established baking is not my strong point, neither is making things look good. Also if I learnt one thing from working in telly it would be never kneel on the floor waving your arse in the air in the same room as a cameraman.
Instead I am giving serious consideration to a career as a Crystal Meth cook putting all my research (5 series of Breaking Bad and The Wire) to good use .
To help me make a decision I’ve drawn up a for and against list.